By reading my previous ‘Facebook Experiments’ section, it may be clear that I have a love-hate (more hate than love) relationship with Facebook. But I’ve become somewhat of a Facebookie (I assume that’s what it’s called). I’ve begun to post random quotes and puzzles and P.Js on my wall and liking stuff here and there. I still don’t see the fascination with spending my waking hours glued to looking at random things posted by random people. This is just a random post. So enjoy.
1. The mother of random:
You’ll see things like “Urggg!!! I hate My Lyf”, “MisUnderSTOOd” and other useless stuff that will compel others to nudge them into revealing why they didn’t get an iPhone/Lexus for Christmas or that their teacher asked them to actually write something useful in class other than random crap as mentioned above.
2. Liking your own status:
We know you like it else you wouldn’t have posted it, would you?
3. Open doors to robbers and stalkers:
I get it that you lead an exciting and amusing life. I don’t need to know where you are every second of your life. Plus why give your location to others when someone can easily break into your house when you aren’t at home or follow you to your expensive night outs?
4. It’s all about loving your [insert relative/item here]:
I didn’t know Facebook took the Elixir of Life from Nicholas Flamel. Dumbledore lied. I wish I had known this before. I would have liked it, shared it and saved my grandma.
5. God is also on Facebook:
“Like in 59 seconds”, “Like if you love [insert God’s name here]”, “This is the only picture of [insert God’s name here]. You will be blessed” and other blah that I am really not interested in. I am not an atheist. Nor am I a theist. I believe in certain things and do not believe in some. So stop forcing blessings (or curses) on me.
6. Un-friending: The new way of telling people “It’s over”:
Rather than growing a spine and facing the unfriendee, the unfriender will just remove you from their “friends” list. They will continue being confused when you go over to have a friendly chat. Un-friending is a complex expression and can mean many things:
- I hate you.
- Your shoes are ugly.
- The spaghetti you made was too bland.
- I have one sweater.
- There are only 6 questions in the world.
- The weather is playing tricks on my mind.
- Haley’s comet would not visit us till 2061.
- [insert any reason, any at all, here]
7. The miracle that is “Facebook”:
I would love to meet all the people who have been helped by Facebook other than Mark Zukerberg. I really want to know if each ‘like’ was equal to a dollar or if each share was equal to a drop of water.